The last criterion proposed in these posts is based on the distinction between the physical pleasure sought and felt, and the emotional attraction towards one's partner. Those who favor this division recognize that it is the sentimental nature of the relationship, love itself, that is the main determinant of sexual orientation, not the erotic acts carried out.
• Sexual orientation is love not lust. (GT, 14yo, USA)
• Well the important part to determining sexual orientation is understanding that it's not about the physical attraction between you and another person. What is important? Is it the emotional attachment and the true relationship? The question to ask is, "Do I really like this person for who they are, and can I see myself living with them past friendship, more into 'partnership'?" (GT, 16yo, USA, WI)
• Being gay, straight, or bi is not limited to sexual preference mind you. Too many times is this considered to be the deciding factor in determining one's orientation? It's the emotional attachment to the gender that should, in my opinion, be the most important factor... (GT, 16 yo, USA)
• I think it is experimenting until you start to have feelings for the person like if you start to like them in a sexual way not just to try things or get off (GT, 14yo, USA, CA)
• I would consider myself straight, cus i am only emotionally, mentally, spiritually, whatever, attracted to girls. When I masturbate, though, I usually fantasize about guys, and sometimes a really hot guy will turn me on. I wouldn't want to go out with a guy or anything; I'm just physically attracted to them more. (GT, 14yo, USA, MI)
Usually, young internet users attribute such deviations to puberty, to that time of life where illusions are numerous, where the need to feel secure is more intense than at any other time, where the desires are strongest, when the girls are least accessible, and above all when the hormones are at their most devastating. A fourteen year old Australian expresses matters thus:
• Ok I masturbate about once a day. When I cum I get turned off by anything homo, it’s disgusting to me, and I just think non stop about girls and kissing them and everything. Then I am not so horny for about 14 hours or so. But after around half a day of not masturbating my mind just wonders off and I start thinking about gay stuff and gay gay gay. Then I masturbate to gay stuff... But then when I am done I am completely turned off by gay stuff and I just want a female. Deep down I would never date a guy or anything, I want a girl. But when I am horny I want to have sex with a guy and it’s very hard to think about girls whilst I am like this. Would you say I am straight with run-a-muck hormones? Will these feelings ever quiet down? (GT, 14yo, Australia)
Most of the answers he received did indeed blame hormones, whose ravages are mentioned whenever such topics are discussed.
• Well, i think your hormones are high, as well as your are curious about the male body since you and your friends are developing and you want to see where you stand. (GT, 16yo, USA, NJ)
• Hormones cause you to get sexually aroused on just about anything. And you aren’t gay...
Oh and the getting sexual aroused from things will go away in time.... (GT, 14yo, USA, CA)
• At this age, your hormones are ragging so much, that you'd get pleasure in any way that u can. (GT, 16yo, USA, New Jersey)
• I swore for about half a year that I was bi. Then my feelings for the same sex decreased and my feeling for the opposite sex increased. I guess it was the works of puberty. What do u think. (VT, 13yo, USA, CT)
• During puberty, your hormones are raging, and this may cause tendencies that have never happened before, in this instance, you being curious and watching gay porn, this happens to a lot of kids and its nothing to think about now, but if it continues on for a couple years, then you might be bisexual or even gay (GT, 14yo)
• It's puberty; these things happen. Trust me, if everyone who gets off on people of the same gender were gay, humanity would die out due to a lack of new children! First, you've got the natural desire to see the "competition", and how other guys compare to you (by the way, looking at porn -- gay or not -- won't give you an accurate view at all); on top of that, you've got hormones at levels high enough to be classified as psychedelics. (GT, 16yo)
• It is simple, as you go through puberty your hormones go on a "spring break" and to put this imaginable, they get drunk and want to do messed up things that at they sober up "as you age" they no longer want to do. (GT, USA, 15yo)
It seems beyond question that erotic experiences between boys have a certain degree of popularity, and that they unfold in great secrecy. The Internet in all likelihood is the only place where they are consistently revealed, if not in perfect sincerity at least in perfect independence.